So, after cleaning today, I went over to Michael's house (with my awesomely awesome new Fedora hat! n.n) so he could show me some of the anime he found online. A couple yaoi music video's (one of which had continual Inuyasha refrences...maybe the person didn't realize that Kagome and Inuyasha were a guy and a girl...), an episode of a yaoi series called "Gravitation," and of course: Naruto!! ^.^ But Michael had to leave for work, and as sweet as he was to let me stay to the late hours of the night watching my new anime fixation, I decided to leave after I had watched a couple episodes after he left.

I pick up the phone to call my mom to come pick me up. Well, that's out of the question because she's sleeping by then, and dad will be as plastered as my kitchen wall. So, I cancel that numbera and go to call G-mama. Then I realize that she doesn't even know where Michael lives. So I shrugged, put the phone down, (grabbed a cookie off the tray) and decided to walk home. I had felt pretty fantablulous because of our summerschool 6-mi bluff climb and my smiling and whistling the whole way through, so I figured this should be a snap.

God I really do like walking places. It's not the fitness. Don't get me wrong, but I couldn't care less about the fitness. It's just that...a person gets so much thinking done when you're walking on your own. The best part is when you really get on a roll and even forget you're walking at all. Of course I thought about Anime, and summerschool, and music, but the best to think about is my writing pieces. Every once in a while, I'll just be strolling along...and suddenly something will fall into place, like, a hole in a plot or something like that. That's really cool.

So I'm just walking along, avoided sprinklers and cars driving by, when I realize that I'm about to walk by the Fr. Island graveyard. I start walking slower and look at the gravestones, knowing which one I'm coming up to. My uncle, David, and my Grandpa Johnny are buried there, so I go in and decide to pay them a visit. I walk up to the gravestone, and stand in front of it. I wasn't completely positive why I was there; it was more like I was compelled to be there, ya know? Standing seemed akward, so I sat down. Then...I smiled. I remember sitting down and this grin coming over my face. I was...really happy I was there. Then, I started talking to David. All these thoughts streamed through my head at once, like I was bursting to tell him everything. I didn't talk out loud to him, mind you, but that'll come later. I said a few things to Grandpa, but more or less everything was meant for David. He died when he was 14, so I guess that made him easier to talk to in a way. Well, after about 5 or 10 minutes, I figured I was late already and the parentals would forgive me if I told them what held me up. I got up, brushed myself off, and cleaned off the top of the gravestone (which was littered with bird poo) and headed home.

After about a half a block after I left, I noticed that I felt really, really good. Better than I had felt in a long, long time. It was kinda surreal, the feeling that I had, because I had a huge opptimistic urge towards everything. Very unlike myself, but in a good way. And then it hit me.

Right now, in my life, if some random act of God or person were to strike me down where I stand, I would be fine with it. I felt completely content with my life. Now, I'm not saying that I don't have bigger, better dreams to accomplish...but at that moment, I realized that it didn't matter. What really did matter was the fact that I was not ashamed of anything in my past, and that so far, my life had counted for something. And you know what? That is a very very very good feeling to have.

About 10 minutes after that little moment of bliss, the rush faded away, abruptly as I recall because of course my own mind ruined it with a depressing thought.

But...for those 10 minutes, I felt...the most amazing thing I had ever felt. The closest thing I can compare it to is, well...happy. Happy or contented. And those 10 minutes will probably stick with me for the rest of my life. I guess I kinda owe it all to my uncle David.

But, I'm curious as to what you all think about this. I'm asking for some comments, or even sharing your own personal experiences with this type of thing. I mean comments from everyone, blogger account or not. Hope to hear from you all soon, and much luv.